Wednesday, January 13, 2010

So much

I really should blog everyday. I can't remember now what has happened in the last few days. *thinking, thinking, thinking* oh thats right I remember now.

Kev and I had a night away by OURSELVES!!!! We divided the children into two groups of three. Lets ponder that thought for a moment should we. Haha so much thought went into who gets on better with who? Mum had Aaliyah and it was the first night that she was every away from me for a whole night. Therefore I wanted to make it as easy for Mum as I could. So Kyle, Trey and Aaliyah went with Mum. Dad (who lives with us) had Dallas, Zane and Bodhi. Plus we had an extra child here, our nephew Nathan was here, so Dad had him as well.

Trey in his wisdom, was confused as to why four were staying with Poppy Mal and only 3 children were staying with his Nana. So I explained to him about how 7 wasn't an even number, and it couldn't be divided into two groups equally. Then the smarty pants in a matter of seconds came up with a solution to this problem. He concluded that because my sister Stephanie is Kyle's age, so 'she's a kid too Mum" is at Nana's, then add her onto the 7 and that makes 8 and that is a number that is equal when you divide it by 2. I was blown away by his quick thinking. It truly does reassure me that he's going to be ok with Homeschooling and I have such a good feeling about it all.

Anyhoo: my weekend with Kev. We truly needed it. 2yrs have passed since we've been alone over night. So we took off Friday afternoon @ 4pm. Visited a mate of Kev's on our way past. Had a coffee with him and I fixed his computer. Then off to the Motel. It was an awesome deal. You pay $100 for a room and get $100 voucher to spend in their Al' Carte restaurant. So dinner was fab: we had entree's, two cocktails and a main each. It was awesome :)

So then we caught a cab to the cinema's to catch the 8pm showing of Avatar. It was sold out! So we bought our tickets for the 9.20pm. Played some computer games...hehe, hadn't done that together since we were both teenagers :) Then we took off for a walk down the esplanade. With perfect timing, we caught a fire twirling show, so that was very cool! Then took off again, to catch our movie. Avatar was fantastic!!! Like really good. Like I want to go live in Pandora! Loved it.

After the movie we walked down to the esplanade again. Bought some ice creams' and chocolate and went back to the room. By this time it was after 1am in the morning.

Next day we slept in, and went to Macca's for breakfast. did some window shopping and went home. So happy the kids were great for their grandparents :)

It did amazing for refreshing my state of mind and getting me back to being the best Mum and wife I can be. Also for reconnecting the relationship between Kev and myself. xx

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Photo a day 5 - 7

Day 5

I was feeling a bit down and out today. Aaliyah being Aaliyah picks up on my moods and when I saw her doing this, I thought it was the perfect opportunity to do a self portrait if you will, through the eyes of my gorgeous only daughter.

Day 6

Well after Day 5 feeling pretty bummed out about things, my parents treated me to a day. My Dad who lives with us, looked after all his grandchildren and Mum took me to Cairns with my little sister and we had a day of eating and pampering. I got a pedicure done, and these are my pretty feet.

Day 7

Today was a big achievement for Bodhi and Aaliyah. They both discovered that they won't slip away to an abyss of nothing if they let go of me while swimming. They discovered floaties. Woohoo. So here they both are floating around in Mum's pool :)

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Mother guilt

Argh I have an attack of the "motherhood guilt" this morning. I've been having some pretty bad days lately. Just all the emotions of Christmas, New Year and Aaliyah's birthday really affects me. So after speaking to Mum yesterday, we decided we needed a girls day out. So I asked (read begged) my Dad to watch what ever kids I have at home. Kyle and Zane aren't here today..thank goodness for friends houses. So he has the four remaining kids. Mum is about to pick me up and we're going to hit Cairns, for some window shopping and maybe a movie.

I'm excited. But on the other hand I feel extremely guilt ridden! I feel as if I need to explain my reasons. How about "I'm about to jump off a really high chair if I don't get a day by myself" then Mum questions my ability to home school this year? Where is it written, because I chose to have six kids, did I then give up the right to have one day alone very rarely? Or because I choose to home school, that I can't again have one day break? Teachers get holidays or days off. Nurses, Doctors, many other parents get time off. Doesn't matter if they have 1 or 10 kids. But I feel so guilty. Is it wrong of me to have fun without my children with me? Of course not.

Mum is nearly here, I can feel it in my bones.

Hopefully the Motherhood guilt dissolves as quickly as the froth of my cappuccino that I'm going to eat all by myself.

New News

hehe Ok so I just wanted to say "new news" I think it's cute.

News on the home front. We are going to sell our house. *gasps, horror, shock!* I know I love my house. It's lovely. But sadly not what we need. We've decided to go a bit more 'rustic'. We are looking at putting the house on the market soon and renting for a while once it has sold. Just to relax and enjoy life for a bit. While renting, we'll be on the look out for a bigger 'bigger' as in 20 times bigger then our 5 acres. We want to build more of a livable shed type dwelling and have motorbikes, and horses and ducks and have room for my kids to do what ever their hearts desire.

Another big change on the home front. We are home schooling Trey this year. It would make my heart sing if Dallas would home school as well, but at the moment he has chosen to stay at school. I can't wait, to hang with my Bear (Trey) and watch him grow and learn in a gentle safe environment. It's something that my instinct has always told me to try and so I'm giving it a go :)

I'm up early this morning. I'm off on a day with my Mum and little sister, with no kids. I love my kids so much, but I need a break from them today. I feel guilty, but I'll follow through with it.

xx Have a good day xx

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Photo a day Days 1 - 4

One of the projects I'm completing this year is my photo a day:

The first 4 aren't that great, because they weren't planned to be my pic of a day. Just lucky for me I was taking pictures.

So obviously I am no good at following things through. One day maybe I will get there??? How will I know when I get there?? What time measurement means I've succeeded in completing a project? Especially for projects that don't necessarily end, like journal writing. Wow I just tripped out there lol.

It is the 5th January 2010. On the 02.01.2010 my daughter turned 2. It had been a hard couple of days. Accepting that my baby is no longer a 'baby' as such and that I will never have any more babies, is a stage in my life I need to get use to. I am in a mourning stage, I guess. With my eldest son growing up way to fast for me, and my youngest child turning two without me being pregnant with our next child really made me realise. I wasn't prepared for the way a family changes. I in my naive state always believed that my teenagers will be 'different' to all the other teenagers in the world and will want to hang out with his or her siblings and parents. I didn't know that I would have to fight and beg to get a nice family picture. When you're children look at you with such love and hope in their eyes, not "hmmm I wonder if she is going to give me that $20 so I can buy credit for my phone". I wasn't prepared. Nobody warned me. And if they did obviously it fell on deaf ears, because I wasn't ready!!

When they say you learn on your first child. That is so true. I feel like I'm running out of time so quickly. So I'm recording and following through with my projects.

Even if I only update my blog once a week, thats still a success isn't it?