So obviously I am no good at following things through. One day maybe I will get there??? How will I know when I get there?? What time measurement means I've succeeded in completing a project? Especially for projects that don't necessarily end, like journal writing. Wow I just tripped out there lol.
It is the 5th January 2010. On the 02.01.2010 my daughter turned 2. It had been a hard couple of days. Accepting that my baby is no longer a 'baby' as such and that I will never have any more babies, is a stage in my life I need to get use to. I am in a mourning stage, I guess. With my eldest son growing up way to fast for me, and my youngest child turning two without me being pregnant with our next child really made me realise. I wasn't prepared for the way a family changes. I in my naive state always believed that my teenagers will be 'different' to all the other teenagers in the world and will want to hang out with his or her siblings and parents. I didn't know that I would have to fight and beg to get a nice family picture. When you're children look at you with such love and hope in their eyes, not "hmmm I wonder if she is going to give me that $20 so I can buy credit for my phone". I wasn't prepared. Nobody warned me. And if they did obviously it fell on deaf ears, because I wasn't ready!!
When they say you learn on your first child. That is so true. I feel like I'm running out of time so quickly. So I'm recording and following through with my projects.
Even if I only update my blog once a week, thats still a success isn't it?
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